Managing your toddler’s tantrums
Is your toddler going from cute to devilish in minutes? Is he/she getting cranky while you are shopping at the mall or dining at your favorite restaurant? Well, toddlers and tantrums go hand in hand. While you really adore your child, you may not be that patient with their erratic outbursts. We suggest you relax, as tantrums are typical in children between the age group of 2-3.
According to professor of applied developmental psychology at California’s Claremont Graduate University, Claire B. Kopp “Two-year-olds are beginning to understand more and more of the words they hear, yet their ability to articulate their feelings and needs is limited.” Hence, you need to understand that a toddler tantrum does not arise intentionally as they are not in control of the situation. However, the consoling factor here is that the tantrums start declining by the age of 4.
What Causes Temper Tantrums?
From family issues, not getting enough parental attention to emotional problems or being hungry or physically drained can be some of the reasons for the toddle tantrums. According to Carol Tavris, author of The Misunderstood Emotion, she notices a circular pattern in the child tantrums when the child becomes repetitive in its behavior the entire day.
The three-step process that she mentions instead increases the problem rather than curbing it, which is (i) when the toddler is blamed, hit, or shouted at by disturbed parents or siblings; (ii) the toddler reacts fiercely; and (iii) when the attacker quits with the kids strategies such as, wailing, howling, or aggressive tantrums the toddler feels rewarded.
Tips to Manage Toddler Tantrums
Based on numerous researches, parents can follow the below mentioned guidelines to build self-control.
Control your temper
Set an example by controlling your own temper outbursts first. Begin discipline with you in order to set an impact on the younger ones at home. New babies have the tendency to pick up what parents talk and how they react, so watch your own reaction to a sensitive issue. So, even though you may feel like hitting your kid, control your urge and rather walk away and return once you have calmed down.
Don’t Give In
Never give into any unfair insistence fearing the child’s tantrums. Remember that you are the Simply do not pay any heed to the tantrums and rather than losing your cool, walk away till the time the toddler knows that his/her demands are not being paid attention to. While in a public place take your kids off from the spot till they calm down.
Like one of the mothers say “My daughter had an absolute fit at a restaurant because the plain spaghetti she ordered arrived with chopped parsley on it. Although I realized why she was upset, I wasn’t about to let her disrupt everyone’s dinner. I took her outside until she calmed down.”
Have a One-on-One
Talk it out with your toddler in a one-on-one once the situation is under control. Sit next to your child and listen to his problem. It will take time for him to express in words so you need to be patient. Acknowledge his frustration and put it in simple and kind words that now that he is calm you understand him better.
Avoid Tantrum Causing Situations
Keep an eye on what irritates your toddler and make a note of this for the next time. The better you know the reason for her anger and frustration, easier it will be for you to control the storm. Avoid pushing your thoughts to a growing child, so rather than forcing her to eat only one thing, give her options (of course your way still!) like, “you want plain milk or with Bournvita”?
Watch Out on Larger Problems
Ensure that you are not over busy to pay even the basic attention to your child. Or, if there’s any major family issues that may be affecting him adversely. Watch out for any problems between husband and wife that may be noticed by him. In case you are unable to identify the real issue, seek help from a consultant who can better advise you in such situations.